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Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Good Morning, News!

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Wed, Apr 4, 2012 at 9:29 AM

GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! They couldn't see, they couldn't understand, and looking in the mirror there were fools at either hand. LET'S GO TO PRESS.

Mittens Romney sweeps three states everyone knew he would sweep, bringing him ever closer to a public ass-beating from Obama.

And exactly why is Santorum sticking around?

A dozen freaky tornadoes swept through Texas yesterday—yet thankfully, no deaths were reported.

Ugghh! A suicide bomber in a Somalia theater kills ten people.

Oprah and Keith Olbermann explain today why they're both screw-ups.

Speaking of screw-ups, screwy screw-up Sarah Palin gets lambasted for her Today Show performance by not so screwy Jon Stewart.

Also speaking of screw-ups, screw-up Bristol Palin's baby daddy (screw-up Levi Johnston) screwed his girlfriend, and now they reportedly have a baby screw-up on the way!

Nicolas Cage pays off half of his tax bill to the IRS (a whopping $6 million)! So that means only three more Ghost Rider movies, and it'll all be paid off.

Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: On and off showers today through Friday—but a possibly sunny egg-hiding weekend!

And finally, stop staring at me. I SAID, "STOP STARING AT MEEEEEEEEE!!!"

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