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Monday, April 9, 2012

Good Morning, News!

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Mon, Apr 9, 2012 at 9:29 AM

GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! Drop your glasses, shake your asses, face screwed up like you having hot flashes. LET'S GO TO PRESS.

Syria continues to piss people off—this time government forces are accused of firing across the border into a refugee camp killing two and wounding three others.

North Korea continues to engage in "who has the biggest wee-wee" contest, staging yet another nuclear test.

A Tulsa, Oklahoma judge slaps a $9 million dollar bail each on the pair of shooters suspected of a string of possibly racially motivated shootings over the weekend.

While reporting on the above case, a CNN reporter quotes a suspect and says the "n-word" live on TV. Whooooooopsy!

Rescuers continue to search after 139 people are trapped under a Pakistani avalanche.

Also today in UNNGGHHH: A ten-year-old girl gives birth to a daughter.

Lindsay Lohan blah blah blah accused of shoving somebody blah blah blah.

AOL plans on selling 800 patents to Microsoft—AND throw in 250 million of those AOL CDs as well.

Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: Partly sunny today, and a very balmy 67 degrees! Showers return Wednesday.

And finally, the first minute of this video is a Greek news anchor getting pelted by eggs thrown by angry demonstrators who are apparently furious about the far right guest on TV that day. The second minute is a very calm person explaining why people should not throw eggs. (Don't bother with the second minute, obvs.)

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