Wow. There are so many new fascinatingly wrong I, Anonymous submissions going on right now over at the I, Anonymous Blog—I'm having trouble figuring out which one to pick. Oh, fuck it. I'm going with the one about goats.
You are an asshole! I know you have to realize that your goat is bAAAAHHHH-ing CONTINUOUSLY from sun up to sun down. The noises are sad and pitiful and are made even more so by the way the poor thing stares at your door looking for someone to interact with it. I'm no goat whisperer but even I know that goats are HERD ANIMALS. Meaning they like to be around other goats. Your goat is lonely, you stupid dickchunk!
Get the best of the Mercury each week in your inbox!