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Tuesday, May 1, 2012

The Most Important Self-Defense Video You Will Ever See

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Tue, May 1, 2012 at 1:44 PM

Self-protection is always smart! And what better way to protect oneself against sexual assault than with the following self-defense video from the '80s? Learn how to:
Poke a rapist's tomato out!
Shove around a dorky kid in his pajamas.
Rub excrement on your arms.
Bite off your assailant's cucumber.
Listen to the most awesome "Rapist Beware" song of all time!
And always remember: "Don't think that you can't—KNOW that you can't!"

Thank you, Everything is Terrible.

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