This Week in the Mercury

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Getting Nowhere Fast

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Friday, May 4, 2012

Here's Your Robotic Hug, People-Haters

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Fri, May 4, 2012 at 10:44 AM

A few of you are still mad at us about this week's Endorsement Issue, in which we chose a person we liked rather than choosing a person you liked. (Sorry, we momentarily forgot we should only report your opinions, and no one else's.) So I know what you need... A HUG!! Of course I'm not going to hug you, because we know what happened the last time I put my body that close to yours. Luckily for us, those insidiously crafty Japanese people have developed a hugging robot. And while we may not agree on every political candidate, we can all agree on vibrators. These things have a vibrator inside! YAY! Me hug you long time!

OH! And even if you refuse to watch all of this, do not miss the creepiest visual you will see all day at the 1:30 mark... FLYING DEAD BABIES!! Aaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!


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