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Friday, May 4, 2012

The New Amazing Spider-Man... Wait, Screw That. The New Expendables 2 Trailer!

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Fri, May 4, 2012 at 9:59 AM

While Erik is taking a three-day sabbatical from work to reorganize his comic book library—it was previously alphabetized, and now he's filing them according to "nipple hardness"—I get to blog about movie trailers! So at first I was going to show you the newest Amazing Spider-Man trailer... until I realized that I kind of hate Spider-Man now. At least the movies. The market's over saturated with hero/geeky stuff, which is why it is physically painful to attend comic conventions these days (I seriously don't know why you people do it), and my prediction is that within the year some serious backlash is gonna start, and the world will start treating nerds like disco.

THAT BEING SAID, here's the new Amazing Spider-Man trailer—watch it or not, I don't give a shit, it's boring.

HOWEVER! One thing that will never go out of style is old people ripping the door off Smart Cars. And with that here is the new Expendables 2 trailer that features a FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC intro from a wheezing Sly Stallone, lots of superfluous explosions, mind-numbingly labored catch phrases, old people pretending they're knees aren't liquefied, and more loose skin than Carnie Wilson after her gastric bypass. In short: THIS RULES; SPIDER-MAN DROOLS.

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