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Thursday, May 17, 2012

Good Morning News!

Posted by Alex Zielinski on Thu, May 17, 2012 at 9:29 AM

Melting Pot: For the first time in baby history, white babies are the minority in the U.S.

Supreme Bean: A study finds that people who drink coffee are expected to live longer. THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN SAYING FROM THE START. This could be the day I get hit by a bus.

Foiled Again!: A migratory bird with suspiciously "large nostrils" shows up in a Turkey village. So it MUST be an Israeli spy.

Mother of Disco: Diva Donna Summer passed away this morning after a battle with cancer. She was 63.

Father of Funk: The "Godfather of Go-Go," Chuck Brown, died yesterday at age 75.

Mandles: Yankee Candles releases a new line called "Man Candles." The collection? "2X4," "First Down," "Riding Mower," and "Man Town." Let me just say that "Man Town" would be the worst smelling town ever.

Mind Reader: A brain implant lets a paralyzed woman control a robot WITH HER MIND. This is both exciting and terrifying. Robots, get out of my brain!

Big Job: "The Social Network"'s Aaron Sorkin signs on as a screenwriter to a Steve Jobs biography. NO, not the Ashton Kutcher one.

Oh, Almost Forgot: NASA gives us a friendly heads up that 4,700 "potentially hazardous" asteroids are nearing Earth. Ain't no thang.

Here are some adorable British kids listening to Skrillex. Don't worry, they hate it too.


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