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Saturday, May 19, 2012

Good Morning(-ish), News!

Posted by Denis C. Theriault on Sat, May 19, 2012 at 12:41 PM

Terrorism charges—the future of protest policing—have been filed against three NATO demonstrators arrested (and previously targeted) in Chicago. Cops say they found bomb-making materials and that the men they arrested were planning to hurl Molotov cocktails at Obama's campaign HQ and other fine places. But lawyers say all the cops found was a bunch of homebrew equipment and argue the search warrant that allowed the arrests wasn't legit.

Confusing charts, so many of them, make the case that Facebook's IPO went even more poorly than we think it actually did.

Maybe we won't have to go to war with Iran over its nuclear program. At least until after the November presidential election.

So many Portlanders gathered yesterday to remember and mourn for Kathryn Rickson, the cyclist who was killed at SW 3rd and Madison after a large truck, making a right turn, struck her.

A Republican congressman's donors made out like bandits after their patron steered an earmark—amounting to millions in government overspending on Army airplane parts—their way.

The premiere launch of a privately owned cargo rocket destined to dock with the International Space Station was delayed for several days because SkyNet computers detected a problem and also because Zefram Cochrane isn't real and, as such, couldn't fix it.

The senior party leaders atop China's Politburo rail against elitist American values have no qualms about sending their kids and grandkids to study at elitist American universities.

Sewing your 14-year-old's son's ass shut—because his ailing bowels gave him a fistula—is a criminal offense, but maybe not so criminal that you'll get sent to jail for it.

AND NEVER FORGET (KIND OF LIKE SEPTEMBER 11 AND THE ALAMO)! PARENTS WHO USE DRUGS HAVE KIDS YOU USE DRUGS. ANY QUESTIONS?


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