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Monday, May 21, 2012

Good Morning, News!

Posted by Denis C. Theriault on Mon, May 21, 2012 at 8:59 AM

Several thousand people hit the heavily fortified streets of Chicago yesterday, for the first official day of a NATO summit held in the city, with a smaller protest planned today. And several dozen were arrested and/or batoned by Chicago police when marchers tied to push their way past hundreds of cops protecting the hotels and meeting rooms where the diplomats were actually sleeping and working.

The summit, so far, has produced one major announcement: NATO will start getting out of the Afghanistan business by next summer. And one geopolitical pissing match.

A bomber dressed like a soldier detonated a suicide belt of explosives during a Yemeni military parade today, killing at least 90 people. Seems it's Al-Qaida's answer to what's been a dramatically expanded campaign of American drone strikes.

Also bombing? Facebook's stock price. On just its second day on the market, the company and its newly married creator, Mark Zuckerberg, are already worth a few billion dollars less. Wall Street done messed up.

BREAKINGFUCKINGNEWS! Lobbyists visit presidential staffers all the time!

This year's explosive diarrhea
of "super PAC" spending is making our country a better place. For campaign consultants.

Dominique Strauss-Kahn is a vampire feeding off the negative energy of never-ending rape accusations.

Should the former Rutgers student convicted of a hate crime—spying on his gay roommate—go to jail? His sentencing is today.

The Bee Gees' Robin Gibb died yesterday after a long bout with colon and liver cancer. He was 63.

I JUST CRAPPED MYSELF. IT'S EVERYWHERE. OH. MY. CHRIST.

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