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Friday, June 8, 2012

Good Morning, News!

Posted by Denis C. Theriault on Fri, Jun 8, 2012 at 9:29 AM

The presidential campaigns and their unregulated PAC surrogates are dumping unprecedented amounts of cash forked over by gullible dupes into winning the hearts and minds of dull, game-show-watching Americans trapped in "swing states."

Nobody trusts the US Supreme Court anymore, as it's become nakedly obvious over the past 30 years that personality and political ideology increasingly trump the law.

Europe's economic malaise is hampering America's recovery way more than Barack Obama's secret socialism.

Once a day, after a decade of constant war, an American soldier commits suicide.

A man whose girlfriend was banned from his downtown apartment building got creative when setting up conjugal visits: He loaded her into a large pink suitcase and rolled her past the lobby guards.

The feds might soon tell New York's cops that they probably can't keep stopping and frisking 700,000 people a year, most of them minorities and (terribly inconveniently) not suspected of any crime.

It should have been obvious for years that 95 feet of clearance was going to be way too low for the new Columbia River Crossing bridge over Interstate 5.

You kind of deserve this, eHarmony users. I dare you to defend yourselves in the comments.

The loud cackling men who talk about cars on liberal public radio are getting really old. So they're stopping.

UN "peace" monitors finally reach the site of a Syrian massacre. "Yep," they said. "This is where it happened. Several days ago. And we're monitoring it." Whew!

As reported last night on Blogtown, Mayor Sam Adams is asking the city's auditor to look into accusations by the Portland Police Association president that the city's decision to fire the officer who killed Aaron Campbell was politically motivated.

HAPPY FRIDAY. I LOVE ALL OF YOU. DEEPLY. HERE ARE SOME KISSES. YOU'LL ACCEPT THEM EVEN IF YOU'D RATHER NOT. EVEN THOUGH I'D RATHER NOT.

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