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Tuesday, July 10, 2012

SL Letter of the Day: The Perils of Balline

Posted by Dan Savage on Tue, Jul 10, 2012 at 10:29 AM

Regarding your thoughtful response to SCROTE regarding the evolutionary purpose for the pulling up of men's balls during sexual arousal: You failed to mention the principal (but less flattering) reason for this phenomenon, Dan. Our busily screwing primate ancestors usually performed "doggie style," and exposed, loose, dangling balls provided a tempting and a handy object for rival males to grasp and to rip off. Tight and close-fitting nuts, on the other hand, made a smaller and a less accessible target. Those ancestors of ours who had compact, contracted scrotums during coitus tended to keep their balls intact, and so they were able to pass their genes for tight ball sacks onto their descendents by a much larger plurality than those who did not. Naturally, those males with formerly-floppy-but-now-missing balls just never had the fortune (or misfortune) to become ancestors at all. Enuff said...

Science Of Balls

I don't have much to add... hell, I don't feel qualified to even Google, much less assess, the soundness of your evolutionary theory for tight ballsacks. But what natural selection and vicious primate rivals may have taken away, SOB, the good folks at OxBalls can give back. Two bonus letters and a cautionary tale/worst-case-scenario for SCROTE after the jump...


I'm a straight twenty-eight-year-old male in a monogamous marriage. My wife and I have good sex, but there is one thing that annoys me: In doggy style, I often shoot my seed within a minute. In most other positions, I last around five minutes. I pleasure the hell out of my wife with foreplay, which she loves, but she requests doggy style a lot; sometimes I sense some disappointment from her when I blow my load after such a short time (she makes an effort to be sweet about it). I'd like to light her fireworks in that position if possible, and I think she'd like that too. Any idea why I'm cumming so fast in that position? Any thoughts on how I can last longer?—Dishin' Out 'Gasms


Seems to me that the same evolutionary pressures that strongly favored high-and-tight ballsacks might also make it harder for modern males to last—or easier for men to finish—in the doggy-style position. SOB here says that having your ballsack ripped off by a male rival was a common enough risk in the bad ol' days that the gene for dangly ballsacks was essentially eliminated—e.g., males with high-and-tight sacks were likelier to survive and pass their genes on. Well, males who finished quickly would also be likelier to survive sex—with their ballsacks intact, dangly or not—and therefore likelier to pass those quick-to-finish genes on to their offspring. Their ancestors passed that quick-to-finish-in-doggy-style gene on to your ancestors, your ancestors passed it on to you, and blah blah Darwin blah. Anyway, it's a theory!

In the meantime, DOG, if you want to last in the doggy-style position, think about getting yourself one of these babies.


Long-time reader and had to email about the recent question from SCROTE, the man who loved having his balls sucked but experienced pain. While your advice was very informative, Dan, ball stretching can be a lengthy process. Pun intended. I have encountered many ball suckers who were just far too aggressive. SCROTE needs to just tell his partner to take his balls in her mouth, roll her tongue around, lick his balls, lick under his balls, but not to suck them out of the position they're currently in. He needs to speak up! There's no better feeling on earth than when someone uses their hot mouth down there in the right way with no pain involved. Just thought I'd share!—Balls Are To Enjoy

Thanks for sharing, BATE. And now for that cautionary tale...


I experienced physical pain after reading your recent response to SCROTE regarding ball stretching. There potential risks or dangers involved with this unusual type of ball play. When I was a much younger lad I had the misfortune of having Testicular Tortion and Varicocele. I had an acute attack of testicular tortion—no sex play involved—that resulted in emergency testicle surgery and softball sized testes for a couple of months following the procedure. Aside from being the most painful experience of my life, Dan, it also robbed me of the ability to father children. Your advice on this issue made me wonder if messing with the cremester muscle response is a really bad idea?—Pounding Away In Nevada

Ball stretching: take it slow, like Stephen "Ox" Lane said in this week's "Savage Love," and if it hurts, you're doing it wrong.


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