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Monday, July 16, 2012

The Breaking Bad Chitty-Chat Club!

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Mon, Jul 16, 2012 at 10:44 AM

Dear HBO's The Newsroom: I'M BREAKING UP WITH YOU. Yes, I admit it... I was only using you during those sad, boring summer weeks when there was absolutely nothing of value on TV. Yes, I knew you were annoying, and I hung with you anyway... that is, until Breaking Bad (THE BEST SHOW ON TV!!!) returned last night. So I'm showing you the door. And keep talkin' that mess, that's fine, but can you walk and talk at the same time? And it's my name that's on that Jag, so remove your bags, let me call you a cab. Gone? Good. LET'S CHITTY-CHAT ABOUT THE SEASON PREMIERE OF BREAKING BAD, AFTER THE JUMP!

UPDATE! AMC is now streaming last night's season premiere on line for, like, free. Watch it and join in on the chitty-chat!

Speaking of Jags, I know I parked mine here somewhere....
  • Courtesy AMC
  • "Speaking of Jags, I know I parked mine here somewhere...."

•••

OKAY! So here's what I'm thinking about last night's season premiere, "Live Free or Die":

1) One thing I love about BB is its "foreshadowing opening scenes," and this one was especially intriguing... Walter (with hair) buying some heavy duty guns in the bathroom of a California Denny's? Looks like someone's headed toward a showdown. Your theories?

2) Walt thinks he's clear from all that Gus nonsense, when GULP! He remembers the videocameras that were posted in the meth lab! (Which Hank almost simultaneously discovers.) He alerts Gus' former bodyguard Mike—whom I adore, btw—who is all too willing to blow Walt's head off before Jessie stops and reminds him that he would be on that video, too. Whoops.

3) Even with a crutch, Hank beats them to the laptop where the video is stored, which means that Walt, Mike and Jess much come up with a fiendishly clever plot to... MAGNET. (Seriously, I thought of that even before Jessie did. It's like in every heist movie ever!)

4) Meanwhile, Skyler learns from Saul—who needs his own spinoff, btw—that her IRS dodging former boss/lover Ted has awoken in the hospital after her botched attempt to scare the pee pee out of him went terribly wrong. She hustles over there to beg for her life, but surprise! Ted thinks that Skyler is out to kill him and his family, so he's the one begging for his life. And Skyler is like... ummm... OKAY! So ever soooo slowly, she's beginning to enjoy the criminal power that Walt is already addicted to.

5) Meanwhile back at the MAGNET! The gang does a huge MAGNET! test at the junkyard, and after convincing Mike to come along, they take it to the police evidence house where the MAGNET! works a little too well, and they're almost caught. (Who also thought that poor cop was gonna get the metal badge ripped off his chest, and god knows what else? Which is to say his penis ring?)

6) The gang escapes, and Walt thinks he's so fucking cool. The stage is set for him—along with Jessie and Mike—to make a play for the big time, and probably? A very big fall. Welcome back, BB. We missed ya!

7) Oh, and Skyler? I FORGIVE YOU, TOO. Heh... heh... hehhhhhh. (CREEPY!!!)

8) What was your thoughts about this ep? It was actually a touch weak for me, and obvious in places, but it moved along with such lightning speed, I've decided to forgive all that. It was also a "set up" episode for what will surely be a wicked season to come. AND? It makes The Newsroom look like a big tub of diseased donkey plop. Why am I even mentioning that stupid show anymore? Pass me that MAGNET! I'm erasing it from my mind.

9) So! What are you thinking, huh?

Look, Im not going ANYWHERE with you guys until he removes that snoring strip.
  • Courtesy AMC
  • "Look, I'm not going ANYWHERE with you guys until he removes that snoring strip."

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