I just attended the press screening for The Dark Knight Rises, and I am now prepared to answer the following questions for you:

1) Was Robin in it?
2) Did Batman die?
3) Did Alfred die?
4) Did Robin die... if he was in it?
5) Was there a Superman cameo in the credits?
6) Was Anne Hathaway naked at all?
7) Actually, I don't want to see her naked... she needs to eat a sandwich. But did you see her vagina?
8) Was the movie soooooo long that your colostomy bag exploded and drenched Mr. Movie?
9) Did you, or did you not, like it?
10) Was Bat Mite in it?

Every question answered... after the jump!

••••
1) I don't want to spoil it for you.
2) I don't want to spoil it for you.
3) I don't want to spoil it for you.
4) I don't want to spoil it for you.
5) I don't want to spoil it for you.
6) I don't want to spoil it for you.
7) I don't want to spoil it for you.
8) I don't want to spoil it for you.
9) I did like it!
10) No.

Check out my review in the upcoming issue of the Merc tomorrow afternoon!