Tonight at the Hollywood Theatre, Rerun Theater is showing "Brother's Keeper"—better known as the 90-minute-long pilot for Miami Vice, the best show that has ever or will ever be on television. Created by Anthony Yerkovich and produced by Michael Mann, Miami Vice defined a decade and introduced the world to James "Sonny" Crockett (Don Johnson) and Ricardo "Rico" Tubbs (Philip Michael Thomas), the cops who make all other cops—hell, all other humans—look like loutish failures. It also featured Edward James Olmos as grumpy ol' Lieutenant Martin Castillo! Much has been made of Miami Vice's focus on fashion and visuals and its pioneering use of music—wait. Let's watch that scene from "Brother's Keeper," shall we?

"You bet it was." That shit is beautiful and amazing.

Miami Vice might have fallen on harder times later in its run—as evidenced when James Brown showed up in "Missing Hours," playing a R&B star/cult leader named "Lou De Long" in an alien abduction episode that featured a weird plot reliance on peanut butter—but for its first few seasons, it was fucking great. Seeing it on the big screen tonight should be magnificent, especially since the Hollywood is encouraging "all attendees to dress appropriately in outrageous '80s attire or their best Aloha shirt and yes, wine coolers will be served to complete the experience." They'll also be preceding "Brother's Keeper" with Portland Vice, "a ten-minute short spoofing the show by transplanting our cop duo to the chilled out streets of P-town" that stars Seth Sonstein, the former owner of the Clinton St. Theater. I will be honest: Portland Vice does not appear to be nearly as good as Miami Vice. But then, nothing is. Also, I'll probably still be in line for my sixth Mojito Bartles & Jaymes, so no worries.

THAT REMINDS ME, AS IF I COULD EVER FORGET: Mann directed a big-screen version of Miami Vice a few years ago—and sure, mention Heat or Collateral or The Insider and everybody won't shut up about how great Mann is (because yes, he is), but mention Miami Vice and everybody's like "What, really? That movie looked stupid. You have had too many Mojito Bartles & Jaymeses. Again." I know this because I have this interaction at every single party ever, and at every single party ever, whoever says they thought Miami Vice looked stupid was wrong—dead wrong. The Miami Vice movie is fucking great, and if you don't believe me I'm coming over with my Blu-ray right this second, bud.

Okay, that seals it. I am ending this post now so I can deluge the Hollywood with emails demanding that they let me follow up this screening of "Brother's Keeper" with a screening of Mann's Miami Vice movie. The director's edition, because that one has the sweet speedboat race at the start.

Rerun Theater at the Hollywood Theatre (4122 NE Sandy), 9:30 pm, $5.

P.S. I need these.