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Friday, August 10, 2012

SL Letter of the Day: Loves a Man with a Good Nipple

Posted by Jesse Bering on Fri, Aug 10, 2012 at 10:29 AM

I'm a bi guy who has a particular type of guy that I find really attractive. Because I'm currently single and have been for some time, I'd love to find some pictures and videos of guys who fit that type, for my own viewing pleasure. The only problem is, I have absolutely no idea what to search for. I get turned on a lot by guys with biggish nipples. Not gigantic, not necessarily ultra muscled, definitely not man boobs, just otherwise conventionally attractive, masculine guys with big tits (think Chris Hemsworth as Captain America—swoons [As readers may have noticed, Chris Evans plays Captain America and Chris Hemsworth plays Thor—we're guessing the letter writer meant Hemsworth. —Ed.]), instead of the tiny, shriveled things one so often sees. The problem is, if I try to search for something like, say, "hot guy nice nipples," I mostly get false positives, that is to say women. As I'm a bi guy this isn't exactly awful, but I'd like to get some better results for guys. Is there any specific terminology I should be searching for? What, if anything, is this fetish (or however you'd describe it) called? And where did it come from? Where does any fetish come from?

Terminology Impairs Topless Searches

My response after the jump...

There are hundreds of documented fetishes and paraphilias, TITS—some, of course, with a sample size of one lonely soul—but oddly enough, an erotic infatuation with nipples, let alone Hemsworth-like silver dollar nipples (and I agree, by the way, that’s quite hot and reminds me of my own first object of desire), is not among them. Nipple love is probably just so common, and harmless, that it hasn’t received any serious empirical scrutiny. In other words, I’m afraid you’re just too average to get your own proper terminology for use in your Google porn searches. Sexologists love their taxonomies but, typically, word labels are reserved for deviant arousal patterns that cause patients to seek psychiatric help because of their distress, or to be ordered by the authorities to receive clinical evaluation after they’ve committed some crime. So long as they’re attached to consenting adults, have at them—nipples, that is.

Still, if you want to get somewhat technical, you’d probably be seen as a partialist, which means that you have a myopic focus on a specific body part, or at least that’s what turns you on the most, even above and beyond the actual reproductive organs. (Someone who finds penises or vaginas the most arousing parts of the body would not be considered a partialist, yet buttocks and female breasts are a matter of contention.) There are partialists for every imaginable nook and cranny of the human form: earlobes, hands, belly buttons, shins, armpits, chins, noses … nipples. And like you, most partialists are connoisseurs of that localized corporeal real estate. They know what they like and anything that strays too far from that physical ideal is a deal-breaker, as you’ve found with those etiolated raisin nipples leaving you flaccid.

As for how you got to be a bisexual big-nipple lover, TITS, one can only speculate. There’s a glut of psychoanalytic theories out there—most of it pretty ancient now—and I’m sure we can find some line or two about your infatuation stemming from your delicate ego being weaned prematurely from the swollen teats of your coldhearted momma. But unfortunately, proper scientists are no closer to understanding why one person develops a particular fetish or paraphilia while another person doesn’t. As the psychologist Michael Wiederman said recently, “If you can definitely answer that question, your working days are over.” Still, many autobiographies of people with fetishes and paraphilias (overwhelmingly men) seem to suggest that a salient event or set of events in childhood, usually between the ages of 4 and 9 and coinciding with curiosity or arousal, is the impetus, with the memory filed away and eventually becoming sexualized on reaching puberty.

Anyway, the good news is that you’re perfectly normal—as normal as a bisexual man who is partial for shapely male nipples can be, anyway. The bad news is that you’re so normal that I can’t see any way to resolve your search engine woes. (Not for lack of effort, incidentally—I’ve just had a nip at it myself and I see what you mean. It’s like hunting for truffles. There are apparently devotees of guys with third nipples, which could satisfy a law of average nipply circumference, but that’s probably not quite right.) I’m afraid you’re just going to have to manually filter your gay porn feed in search of those elusive superhero areolas. Be patient, TITS. The Hems-worthy teats are out there. If you search them, they will come. And so, alas, will you.

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