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Monday, August 13, 2012

Roller Derby Recap: Betties vs. Tilted Thunder, Girls vs. Boys

Posted by Courtney Ferguson on Mon, Aug 13, 2012 at 4:29 PM

Megahurtz being hurtful.

In the true spirit of roller derby, I'm writing this blog post pantsless*. What?!

The ladies of Seattle's banked track league, the Tilted Thunder Rail Birds, took on the Rose City Rollers 2012 reigning champs, the Break Neck Betties, in a hot, hot, hot game at the Hangar on August 3 (I was basking at the beach all last week, so forgive this recap's lack of timeliness). The Seattle skaters were short a few on their roster, so newbie Rose City Rollers gals filled in their ranks, which made for a confusing jumble of who-to-root-for (but yeah, duh, Betties!). Initially, the banked track skaters had a difficult time getting used to the flat track—there were lots of Seattle skaters going outside the bounds, accustomed to hitting the reassuring rail that bounces them back in, and they were lacking their best friend, gravity, which makes for fast acceleration and hard hits on the bank track. But as everyone settled in, the first half was pretty evenly matched with the Betties keeping the lead. Halftime saw the Betties up 87 to the Rail Birds' 58. But the second half of the game got away from the Seattle crew, with the Betties racking up points, because even without super jammer SoulFearic Acid, the Betties have some secrets weapons in their jammer pocket, like D. Konstructor, Mutch Mayhem, Northern Lights Out, and Avalanche. Let's not even get into their amazing blocker lineup—okay, just a little, FranCheckYa's blocking was a highlight and Megahurtz had some very hurtful-looking hits, especially one to Toxic Haste (a Rose City gal, filling in for the Seattle team). Final: Betties 250, Tilted Thunder Rail Birds 89.

Hit the jump for more of Sharkey's great pictures and to see how the August 4 girls vs. boys battle of the sexes went down.

* Actually, it has less to do with "spirit" and more to do with it being hotter than Sauran's armpit at my house.

Northern Lights Out channeling her inner matador.

The Break Neck Betties putting the crunch on the Tilted Thunder Rail Birds.

Okay, I'm on vacation writing this boys vs. girls recap, so I'll be brief. The boys won, bros. It was a fun game—the Hangar was sweatier than a roller derby sock and all the skaters were decked out in beach gear. The girls team was a medley of Rose City Rollers sporting bikini-printed T-shirts and beach-themed names (e.g. Supa Sixpack was Bay Watchout). Many of the boys were in purple body socks. Yes, purple body socks. That's a thing. The gals were calling themselves the Sexy Beaches and the Portland Men's Roller Derby were going by Bros City Rollers. The men were consistently able to nab lead jammer, while the women were struggling to get by the burly pack. The Bros had an early lead with Tommy Gun and Don Juan scoring. The Sexy Beaches' Feliz Brutality (Brutowelty in her beach alter ego) was able to narrow the margin with a power jam, but by halftime the score was Bros 91, Beaches 37. The game looked way more exhausting than normal, full of sweat and harried scrambling to get through the pack. The Bros' stellar jammer Shreddy Mercury killed it in the second half, helping to bring the final score to Bros City Rollers (men) 153, Sexy Beaches (women) 95. Looks like the boys hold the battle of the sexes crown, for now.

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