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Sunday, August 19, 2012

Good Morning, News!

Posted by Denis C. Theriault on Sun, Aug 19, 2012 at 10:46 AM

WikiLeaks boss Julian Assange makes like the pope and gives a balcony speech from the Ecuadoran Embassy in London, where he's surrounded by British cops waiting to take him into custody. Assange asked the United States to abandon its "witch hunt" against his secret-sharing web site. Watch unfiltered video here.

Bashar Assad, Syria's strongman,
has to remind everyone, from time to time, that he's still alive and not just a figment of the ruling party's imagination. He showed up for Eid prayers at a mosque in Damascus, his first public appearance in six weeks.

If I do nothing else for you today,
then at least I've given you this fascinating, comprehensive investigation of the Roman Catholic Church's complicated, strained finances. Thanks, The Economist!

Thanks to robots,
human workers are increasingly unnecessary.

Unless, that is, those same workers have an exceptionally sturdy "e-score." "These [secret] scores can determine whether someone is pitched a platinum credit card or a plain one, a full-service cable plan or none at all. They can determine whether a customer is routed promptly to an attentive service agent or relegated to an overflow call center."

Willard Romney—defending his steal of a tax rate (at least 13 percent!)—maybe thinks taxes are basically the same thing as charity, on which, you know, he also spends a lot of his money.

OH NO POLITICS IN AMERICA IS INCREASINGLY RIVEN WITH PARTISANSHIP STOP THE PRESSES RIGHT NOW I AM SOOOOO SURPRISED.

This poor guy in Alabama wants to know why the government, fer chrissake, just won't let him keep his dead wife buried in his own goddamned front lawn. C'mon! It's what she wanted!

Hahahahaha Jay Leno!

WALMART'S GROWTH ON A MAP. IT'S LIKE LOOKING AT X-RAYS OR WHATEVER CHARTING THE RELENTLESS GROWTH OF AN AGGRESSIVE CANCER!

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