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Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Good Morning, News!

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Wed, Aug 29, 2012 at 9:29 AM

GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! Drop down and get your eagle on, girl. Hell naw, ain't leavin' me alone, girl. Drop down and get your eagle on, girl. LET'S GO TO PRESS.

Hurricane Isaac is holding fast over the Gulf Coast this morning—and in particular, New Orleans—where 80 mile per hour winds and flooding are putting the city's levees in danger. And what's worse? The storm isn't even half-way over.

In FAR less important news, here's a quick update of what happened yesterday at the GOP pep rally: Gov. Chris Christie talks about the "hard truths" that Mittens Romney can deliver—even though he's been coddled all his life. Ann Romney is a better politician than Mittens (ANN ROMNEY 2016!). And Ron Paul supporters got into a hilarious screaming match with the GOP mainstream. Today expect Veep candidate Paul Ryan to show off his abs, John McCain attempts to make everyone turn against... that one, and the GOP's embarrassing attempts to feign sympathy for the people of New Orleans. Good luck with that one, guys.

Authorities are still hunting for an ex-FBI agent who went missing in Iran 2,000 days ago—a probable victim of kidnapping.

Meanwhile Iraq goes on an execution spree, killing 21 people (three of whom were women).

When pranks go terribly, terribly wrong: A man trying to create a Bigfoot hoax is run over by two cars.

A Jewish student in East Lansing was attacked at a party, and had his lips stapled shut while his attackers chanted, "Heil Hitler." I can't even...

A Navy Seal on the scene when bin Laden was killed is now disputing some of the events—and has written a new book all about it.

And surprise! Lindsay Lohan is in the soup again—this time for her involvement (or lack thereof) in a jewel heist... which she blames on Suge Knight's son!

Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: Not a hurricane, that's for sure. Slightly cooler today, but warming up to 80 by Saturday.

And finally, Insane Clown Posse's Shaggy 2 Dope and Violent J sit down to critique the music video for Carly Rae Jepsen's "Call Me Maybe" and it's Carly RAE, not Carly SIMON you idiots!!

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