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Friday, September 7, 2012

Good Morning, News!

Posted by Denis C. Theriault on Fri, Sep 7, 2012 at 9:29 AM

The president stood on stage last night and humbly, if a little grimly, asked for more time to fix the mess he inherited. Unlike the vague, paranoid dread slung by the Republicans last week, Barack Obama told a tale of common-sense inclusion and, dare I say, hope. He threw only a few sharp jabs at Willard Romney in a speech that some observers rightly said resembled a State of the Union address more than anything else.

But then, this morning, the president's "convention bounce" was upstaged by the latest jobs report, which was repeatedly described as "disappointing." True, the unemployment rate did drop, but only because thousands of people have stopped looking for jobs.

What you won't hear, especially from Republicans: Unlike past recoveries, which were always buoyed in part by government hiring, this one is being held back, dramatically, by an epic drop in the public payroll.

Go ahead and read the whole Obama speech here, and stay tuned to Blogtown later this morning for some actual analysis.

I didn't get to see the president talk, myself. The only "forward" momentum I heard about last night—at a meeting that lasted more than six hours—was Portland's march toward fluoridation of its water.

Last night's real winners, however, were the decent Americans who remembered to watch the MTV Video Music Awards. Which they still have! Trivia!

Because someone has to, the international press has discovered America's shocking lurch toward voter suppression—an effort aimed at making sure the poor and people of color don't upset the terrible status quo.

The mustachioed former cop in Chicagoland, once played on TV by Rob Lowe, has been found guilty of murdering one of his two murdered wives.

In Pakistan, miraculously, a mentally disabled young Christian girl accused of the high crime of blasphemously burning Koran pages was granted bail. If she's found guilty of blasphemy, she'll either be executed or left to rot in prison until she dies of her own accord.

A child's lost stuffed monkey
—stupidly named "Ah-Ah"—turned up on eBay three years later. It's kinda heartwarming.

College hockey players
teach the world how to celebrate: Naked puck-shooting! Beer kegs in the locker room! Sex in the penalty box! Jokes about how long the sex in the penalty box lasted!

Prince Harry will atone for his bare-assed romp in Las Vegas by reporting to a warzone, where he'll have to pilot attack helicopters.

I ALWAYS KNEW THERE WAS A REASON I FELT SO GODDAMNED FRESH AFTER WATCHING OLD BARNEY MILLER EPISODES. TV IS GOOD FOR YOU.

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