This Week in the Mercury


Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Frozen "Macaroni & Cheese" Pizza: Why? WHY? WHYYYY???

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Wed, Sep 19, 2012 at 10:14 AM

I was in the grocery store, and then I saw this:

IMG_0420.jpg

A few observations:
1) GROSS.
2) It's more than "GROSS," it's an affront to humanity.
3) Wait... just so we're on the same page here... this is a pizza. But instead of toppings, it's covered with macaroni & cheese—THAT'S BEEN FROZEN.
4) I just... I just don't...
5) Why does Tony's hate the world so much? Say what you will about Hitler, at least he didn't hate everybody. Tony's hates EVERYBODY.
6) BTW, my intention is not to belittle the experience of those who went through the Holocaust... just to be clear, this Tony's "Macaroni & Cheese" pizza is NOT worse than the Holocaust. However, it is worse than anything that happened in Darfur.
7) But let's put aside that this pizza is the edible equivalent to the human centipede. It's the upper right hand corner that's most infuriating of all. "New Square Shape Fills the Box." WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY, TONY?? Are you trying to say that there's more of this abysmally horrid pizza for those of us who are interested in DEATH? Or are you trying to tell us that a square pizza somehow reduces excess packaging, and that you are actually doing something worthwhile for the planet? EVEN WHILE YOU TRY TO PASS OFF A MACARONI & CHEESE PIZZA AS "FOOD"?
8) YOU CALLOUS, FUCKING BASTARD, TONY. YOU CALLOUS... FUCKING... BASTARD!!

Comments (9)

Showing 1-9 of 9

 
Subscribe to this thread:
Showing 1-9 of 9

Comments are closed.

All contents © Index Newspapers, LLC

115 SW Ash St. Suite 600
Portland, OR 97204

Contact Info | Privacy Policy | Production Guidelines | Terms of Use | Takedown Policy