GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! Gave up on the riddle, so I cry just a little when I think of LET'S GO TO PRESS.

Did you miss last night's packed Mercury Mayoral Inquisition at Rontom's? IT WAS AWESOME. Here's an outside perspective of what went down, and if you're kicking yourself, we'll have the the full video and a Mercury Election Squad wrap up for you later today! STAY TUNED!

The Chicago teachers' strike is over, and kids begrudgingly return to school—but fears still remain over the teachers' pension plan which could collapse in a few years.

Mitten Romney's sneaky remarks about the 47 percent and the "takers" and "makers" are getting him into deep poo with his conservative base. (Also, I think he mistakenly thinks he's a "maker.")

Oh, and by the way, the rich got even richer in 2012. Poor richy riches.

A new swing state poll says that voters somehow have the idea that Romney favors the rich. Huh. People think the weirdest things.

A French magazine runs some cartoons that parody the Prophet Muhammad. Gasoline? Meet fire.

Are U.S. Special Forces teams sneaking around in Iran and fucking up their nuclear capabilities? OF COURSE NOT. (Slooooow wink.)

Is Chik-fil-A backing off from making donations to anti-gay groups? (Don't get your hopes up, mouth! We have to wait for confirmation!)

If you work with annoying people, here is some important news: Today is International Talk Like a Pirate Day. :( You may want to knock off early.

Lindsay Lohan has been arrested for allegedly hitting a restaurant employee with her car and leaving the scene of an accident, because... well... Lindsay Lohan.

Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: MORE SUN! A high of 83 today, and while things will be a touch cloudier and cooler this weekend, STILL DRY.

And finally, a bulldog on a trampoline! That is all.