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(Somewhat) True Tales of Terror!

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(Somewhat) True Tales of Terror!

An Anthology of (Maybe Kinda True?) Horror Stories


Novel Filmmaking

Film

Novel Filmmaking

Listen Up Philip: Like a Book! That Is Also a Movie!



Sunday, September 23, 2012

Good Morning, News!

Posted by Denis C. Theriault on Sun, Sep 23, 2012 at 10:46 AM

Ugh. A DOUBLE-AMPUTEE in a WHEELCHAIR who was holding a PEN was shot dead by a Houston police officer inside a group home.

The new Iraq that's supposed to stand strong and free and proud after American troops finally quit the place is disappointingly unstable and chaos-riddled—belying the Obama administration's promise of a successful end to the nearly decade-long American occupation.

Egypt's president used the New York Times to give a big hello to the American people, saying it was Washington's job to make nice with the Muslim world and making sure to mention that he won't be the eager lapdog that Hosni Mubarak was.

Libya, trying so hard to change its life, is treating its renegade Islamist militias like a visiting college friend who's earned the ire of its new girlfriend (AKA the United States): Those were good times, but you have two days to pack up and get off the couch.

If Israel kicks Iran in the crotch, Iran will punch us in the shoulder. And then it'll be on. Or something.

What one small folksy Ohio county says about the incredibly polarizing presidential race: Nothing you didn't already know.

Willard Romney's terrible week
evokes Rick Perry's terrible everything. Perry, at least, can blame previously undisclosed medical problems for flaming out in the GOP primary. Barack Obama celebrates by ordering sausages.

The tiger-mauling victim who leaped from a monorail car into a tiger pen at the Bronx Zoo was not—I repeat NOT—drunk or insane.

America's cows are eating
like idiot teenagers at a frozen yogurt shop, because it's cheaper to feed cows corn syrup instead of the stuff the corn syrup is made from.

HEY! Remember that cute baby panda that just gotted borned? IT'S DEAD.

HEY! Remember
when you sent your adorable cat, Lady, to the vet for a flea bath? IT'S DEAD.

The Eastside streetcar loop finally opened (yay?) and it already had a mechanical problem that added more time to the absurdly long trip to downtown.

All the Dope, Part 1: National pot groups with millions to spend on legalization are spending it elsewhere because they don't think Measure 80 is as politically feasible as efforts in Washington and Colorado.

All the Dope, Part 2: OMIGOD did you guys know that growers are taking advantage of our incredibly lax and way-too-shadowy medical pot system? The question now is whether the O's editorial board decides that's why we need to legalize—or why we need to imprison forever all pot-smokers past and present.

An even bigger question: Which alliterative AMC show with an alliterative main character will score the biggest pile of statues at the Emmy's?

HEY! REMEMBER
WHEN SUMMER TOOK ITS SWEET TIME SHOWING UP THIS YEAR, AND THEN IT WAS WARM AND DRY AND HOPEFUL FOR A FEW WEEKS? IT'S DEAD!

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