This Week in the Mercury
Monday, October 8, 2012
Holiday "Reasons Columbus Day is the Worst Holiday of the Year": A COUNTERPOINT
Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Mon, Oct 8, 2012 at 1:14 PM
I would like it to be known that I don't ALWAYS disagree with Sarah Mirk—maybe only 87 percent of the time. However (sigh) she's wrong once again. While Columbus Day is remarkable in it's "genocidedness," and the post office is indeed closed, I take umbrage with her hypothesis that it is "the worst holiday of the year." Here are some worse holidays than Columbus Day:
1) Labor Day: I always have to work!
2) Christmas & Easter: One holiday per customer, Christ!
3) Veterans Day & Memorial Day & Armed Forces Day: You too, Vets!
4) Father's Day & Mother's Day: You too, parents!
4) Valentine's Day: No explanation needed.
5) Washington's Birthday: He had wooden teeth! Therefore he must've been against fluoride!
6) New Year's Eve: While I occasionally have fun on this holiday, it is still worse than Columbus Day because I always spend the next morning emptying the contents of my stomach into the toilet.
SO WHATEVER, SARAH MIRK! Oh, and you forgot to do a poll, too.
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