This Week in the Mercury

A Bigger Broom

News

A Bigger Broom

As Police Crack Down on Campsites, the Mayor Wants to Double the Cleanup Budget


Disaster Movie

Film

Disaster Movie

Everyone in San Andreas Dies Except for the Rock



Thursday, October 11, 2012

The People Have Spoken: MORE BOAT COP!

Posted by Alison Hallett on Thu, Oct 11, 2012 at 3:14 PM

Re: Boat Cop in: Boat Cop vs. the Sucky WW Article, in which Ben Coleman shares a tantalizing glimpse into the life of unofficial Blogtown mascot Boat Cop:

She was built like one and a half NFL cheerleaders, with a mane of tawny auburn hair like a lion who'd maybe stripped it's way through lion college. Two thick eyebrows went at each other like gladiatorial caterpillars, and two ruby lips pursed and parted like divorcing lemon enthusiasts. She was wearing a diaphanous gauze slip that made me rethink using the word diaphanous all the time.

"Please, I need your help," she said.

"Everyone needs my help," I told her, "That's why they call me Boat Cop."

After which he adds:


(Note: Alison thinks I should release the rest of this, but there is basically no way I am going to that. Unless a really compelling argument is made for it in the comments I guess.)

Exhibits A, B, & C:

Screen_shot_2012-10-11_at_12.55.22_PM.png

Screen_shot_2012-10-11_at_12.55.10_PM.png

Screen_shot_2012-10-11_at_12.54.53_PM.png


MORE BOAT COP! MORE BOAT COP!

Comments (5)

Showing 1-5 of 5

 
Subscribe to this thread:
Showing 1-5 of 5

Comments are closed.

All contents © Index Newspapers, LLC

115 SW Ash St. Suite 600
Portland, OR 97204

Contact Info | Privacy Policy | Production Guidelines | Terms of Use | Takedown Policy