This Week in the Mercury


Monday, October 15, 2012

Good Morning, News!

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Mon, Oct 15, 2012 at 9:29 AM

GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! I'ma get, get, get, get, you drunk. Get you love drunk off my hump. LET'S GO TO PRESS.

Just in time for tomorrow night's presidential debatewatch it with the Mercury!—the polls are tied once again between Obama and Romney... which means the last few weeks were for nothing. GREAT.

Yes, but which presidential candidate would make the better baby sitter for your child? A whopping 49% polled would choose Obama—because Romney would probably tie it to the roof of this car.

Fighting back against Iran's growing nuclear program, the European Union gives 'em the finger and agrees to toughen up sanctions.

The girl who was shot by the Taliban last week for daring to speak up for education has been air lifted to Britain for emergency treatment.

You know those arms we've been helping our Arab allies give the Syrian rebels—turns out they're falling into the hands of radical Islamists. Oops.

Austrian daredevil Felix Baumgartner jumped from the edge of space yesterday to break the sound barrier, complete the highest free fall ever, and somehow not be burnt to a cinder.

Two Americans win the Nobel Prize for economiczzzzzzzzzzzz.

Sprint—who needs a LOT of help in the economiczzzzzzz dept.—is selling a majority of their stock to the Japanese tech giant with a terrible name, SoftBank.

If you can take it, one of the saddest, most horrible examples of bullying you will ever see.

Popular TV star of the '70s, Gary Collins, dead at the age of 74.

Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: The rain showers of today will end tomorrow morning, then you'll get two days of drying out before the dampening returns.

And finally, the best "I'm with Stupid!" sign EVARRRRRRR!!

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