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Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Good Morning, News!

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Wed, Oct 17, 2012 at 9:29 AM

GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! So if you don't break, just over compensate. At least you know you can always go on Ricki Lake. LET'S GO TO PRESS.

President Obama came out swinging in last night's debate against Mittens Romney—who needed all the women in his binder to help him.

The candidates also argued about who would be better for women—though it's pretty obvious when one of them (cough, Mittens, cough) couldn't even say the words, "Women deserve equal pay."

For you fact checking fans, here's a round-up of debate fibs.

Worst of all? The candidates wives showed up in the same color! Both were heard remarking, "Oh, HELL NO! Bitch did NOT just steal my look!"

George Zimmerman (Remember him? Killed 17-year-old Trayvon Martin?) now has a court date set for June 10.

Japanese officials are furious over accusations that two U.S. sailors raped a woman on the island of Okinawa.

China's Foxconn (the maker of that iPhone you're holding) admits they used young "interns" at their factories. Interns as young as 14.

Apple schedules an iPad Mini event for October 23. (Work faster, 14-year-old interns! CRACK!)

Lance Armstrong steps down from his charity, and Nike drops him as a spokesperson.

Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: Cloudy and 65 today, and... wait. SUNNY AND 71 TOMORROW?? Oh, and cool and rainy after that. Whew. Thought I was going crazy for a sec.

And finally, Jimmy Kimmel hit the street yesterday afternoon at 2 pm to ask people who won the previous night's debate... BUT THERE WAS NO DEBATE ON MONDAY! (So their answers may surprise you.)

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