Honestly, your best bets are still probably two movies that opened last week—Argo and Seven Psychopaths—but there's still some solid stuff opening up this week, with Wake in Fright and Filmusik's Turkish Star Wars the standouts.
SPLIT: A DEEPER DIVIDE—Hey, you know how everybody in America hates everybody who doesn't agree with them? That's what this movie is about. That's all.
DIANA VREELAND: THE EYE HAS TO TRAVEL—Somebody made this movie just for Marjorie. That was nice of them.
STEP UP TO THE PLATE—I'm going to hold out for Kitchen Nightmares: The Movie. Some of those kitchens are the grossest.
WAKE IN FRIGHT—I would totally go see this, but I don't think I can handle seeing real kangaroos blasted by real shotguns. Let's change the subject! Remember that time Crocodile Dundee made the kangaroo poachers think that a kangaroo had picked up a gun and was shooting back at them? HA! Good one, Mick!
FILMUSIK: TURKISH STAR WARS—Oh, Turkey! Your Star Wars is so crappy! But live sound effects help!
ALEX CROSS—Tyler Perry made Ned throw up!
They didn't show Paranormal Activity 4 to critics. Shocking. Also, how weird is it that I knew Crocodile Dundee's real first name without even having to look it up? This is the kind of shit my brain is all filled up with. This is why I am so stupid.
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