All the fun Halloween parties are happening this weekend, and by the time actual Halloween comes around a week from tomorrow, your costume will already be thrashed and trashed. So now's the time for exchanging costume ideas, and we're proud to say we've always held the course when it comes to taking a hard line against costumes that are "sexy" versions of other things. "Sexy nurse," "sexy pope," "sexy turnip," etc. (Actually sexy turnip might be pretty good.) However, we've never gotten around to writing a rap about it, much less a rap featuring Tim Gunn! And in this we have, as in many other ways, failed you. However we will post one such video that somebody else made as partial restitution:

And furthermore, it's too goddamn cold here this time of year to be "sexy." I recommend choosing Halloween costumes based on what will keep you warmest and be most likely to withstand a hard rain. For instance, I'm thinking of going as a Russian fisherman this year. It probably won't be sexy.