Beloved presidential politics rodeo clown Donald Trump has finally released his statement, and it's pretty embarrassing: He's offering five million dollars to charity if President Obama releases his college transcripts and his passport applications. Trump stipulates that Obama has to release those records "to my satisfaction," which means he'll never give up the five millions dollars, even if President Obama tried to play his little game. He calls President Obama "the least transparent president in history."

It's kind of sad to see Trump's long, glorious career of flirting with the press throughout the 2012 election season end with this, which is something between a wet fart and a sad trombone sound. The poor guy is going to miss the spotlight until he starts clowning the 2016 election cycle, isn't he?