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Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Roller Derby Recap: Rosebuds Champs, GNR vs. Seattle's Throttle Rockets

Posted by Courtney Ferguson on Wed, Oct 24, 2012 at 4:14 PM

The Riveters Tectonicruel feels the icy squish of the Death Scars pack.

The brass tacks! The Stars Wars-lovin' Death Scar Derby Dolls are the first-ever Rosebuds home team champs after taking on the Little Red Riveters. It was close, but their battle for Rose City Rollers junior league supremacy ended with a final score of Death Scar 115, Red Riveters 106. Both teams went into Sunday's game undefeated, so it was definitely going to be a fight to the finish. Death Scar's powerhouse jammer Scream Cheese looked fierce out there—the gal's like 6 feet of stone-cold muscle and hard-hittin' dagger eyes—but the tiny jammers, the Riveters' Little Bo Weep and Tectonicruel and Death Scar's Somethang Sassy, are fast and wily and tough as nails. With the force on their side, Death Scar grabbed an immediate lead and they ended the first half with 13 points on top of the patriotic Riveters. The second half saw a brutal hit to jammer Tectonicruel (in her second game of the day—she played for the Rainbow Bites in the earlier doubleheader bout)—she recovered on the sidelines before heading back out on the track. What followed was a game of cat-and-mouse, the two teams trading lead changes four times. The Death Scars took advantage of a power jam to throw 15 points on the board, and with what looked like one remaining jam, the score was Death Scar 115, Riveters 100. But a false start by red jammer Little Bo Weep saw her headed to the ice box, only to be released by a Death Star jammer penalty. Little Bo Weep was able to shore up the score by six more points, but it wasn't enough to overtake the imperial forces, although it was one hell of a heart-pounder.

Hit the jump for some brief recaps of the third-place Rosebuds game, and the outcome of the Guns N Rollers even-matched battle with Seattle's Throttle Rockets.

The Avengers Acid Pest tries to nose by Small Fox (The Epidemic).

No one died in the venue's porta-potty, that's just the Undead Avengers in the house. Taking on the sparkle gals of the Rainbow Bites, the faux-blood fiends of the Avengers outpaced the multi-hued Bites for a final score of Undead Avengers 218, Rainbow Bites 123. Even with the Bites' Jesus Feist blocking like a train, it wasn't enough to overcome the zombie apocalypse. And girl can hit. See:

Jesus Feist. Shes pretty rad at roller derby.

The Avengers started off with a modest lead, quickly lost it to the Bites, then gained it back. With force. It was a lead that never changed until the end of the bout with the zombie crew chewing off the faces of the adorable Bites (just say no to bath salts!). The Rainbows were plagued by penalties and Undead blockers—like The Situation, who was hell-bent on knocking down a host of Bites.

With a whole day of junior roller derby under my belt, I can say with some authority that they have the best derby names. To wit: Wikispeedia, The Nothing, Icky Pop Her, Medulla Oblangotchya, Boom Chick, Liz ELemonateHer, Slain Austen, Little Bunny Bruise You, etc.

I had to miss Saturday's game where the Rose City Rollers newly rostered skaters took on Salem's Bone Yard Brawlers. But by all accounts it was a bit of a shutdown. Yep, I'd say based on this final score (Portland's newbies the Training Wheels of Justice 314, Cherry City's Bone Yard Brawlers 72) it was a thrashing.

On Friday night, the Guns N Rollers—everyone's favorite rockers 'n' rollers—took on the Throttle Rockets from Seattle's Rat City Rollergirls. It was glorious to see jammer Scald Eagle back on the track, she's only recently back on her talons after recovering from an injury. We saw her play at Westerns in the Bay Area, but it's so reassuring to see her in person. She drew the first blood against the Rockets, and GNR kept the lead with a halftime score of GNR 114, Rockets 86. With some great jamming from Seattle's Parker Eyeout and Luna Negra, the Rockets began to pick away at the gap during the second half. Then came a lead change. With 2:20 in the game, the score was Rockets 206, GNR 194. Scarlene was blocking like a champ for Portland and Scald was doing her patented last-minute heroics, but with just 12 seconds in the game GNR wasn't able to rack up eight more points to pry the win from the intergalactic babes from Seattle. Final: Throttle Rockets 213, Guns N Rollers 206.

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