This Week in the Mercury


Thursday, October 25, 2012

SL Letter of the Day: Ouch

Posted by Dan Savage on Thu, Oct 25, 2012 at 10:29 AM

I'm on hiatus while working on a manuscript for a new book. In the meantime, please enjoy these classic Savage Love letters pulled from previous columns. I will be back November 1st, when the book is finished. —Dan

Originally published December 17, 2009:

I'm a straight man, age 26. I was just dumped by a married couple. The wife was very sadistic, and the husband did not enjoy pain. When we got together, she would hurt me (TT, CBT, flogging) before fucking him. The wife asked if I wanted to play alone sometime, and I said yes. When she asked her husband and told him that she had already checked with me and I was willing, he said that I had violated our agreement. It isn't easy finding people into SM where we live—the Bible Belt of Canada—and playing alone was her idea, not mine. What do I do?

Dumped Up North

My response is after the jump...

You move. The husband is blaming you because it's less consequential than blaming the wife. But he's clearly not comfortable—FUCK OUCH DAMN IT CHRIST!—having your black-and-blue ass around anymore, due to the wife's actions, and so you're out. Unfair, yes, but there's not a lot you can do about it. Besides move.

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