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Sunday, October 28, 2012

Good Morning, News!

Posted by Denis C. Theriault on Sun, Oct 28, 2012 at 11:27 AM

The apocalypse is named "Sandy," which is Mayan for "the Christian concept of 'god' hates the sinful east coast of the sinful United States, and, oh, by the way, good luck finding an airplane out of New York or Washington, DC, or even just taking a subway after dark."

There were some questions last night whether this storm business was all part of a wider conspiracy, perhaps related to Al-Qaida's weather machine, after an earthquake off the west coast of Canada triggered tsunami warnings in the American president's home state of Hawaii. Those warnings, however, were canceled.

Willard Romney in 2005: "Some gays are actually having children born to them. It's not right on paper. It's not right in fact. Every child has a right to a mother and father.'' If you have friends in Ohio (where Jeep isn't, in fact, leaving), Iowa, Virginia, Colorado, Florida, Wisconsin, and/or Pennsylvania, this might be a good time to ring them up for a chat.

A majority of Americans in an AP poll copped to holding "negative views" of African Americans—51 percent!—a number that climbs even higher, to 56 percent, when "implicit" bias is measured. Both numbers were lower before Barack Obama became the nation's first black president and immediately started doing a better job than a bunch of the white guys who had the office before he did.

Oh, and while we're on the tender subject of race relations! The US Supreme Court could rule as soon as this week to tear down the most effective and toughest provisions of the Voting Rights Act, which is meant to make sure local and state governments don't blatantly disenfranchise minority voters.

A lot of them new jobs getting "created" by them there "job creators" are part time gigs with no consistency and no benefits and little pay. Because it's cheaper to fill one full-time job with benefits with two people who don't receive benefits. Looking at you, Powell's (Part-Time) City of Books!

A Greek magazine editor was arrested and briefly detained after publishing a list of 2,000 fellow citizens who hold Swiss bank accounts. He was trying to call attention to the government's dubious war on tax cheats.

The Syrian civil war has prompted Iraq to start searching planes bound for Iran for weapons, since everyone's fairly paranoid that the Islamic Republic is dipping its toes into the conflict blocking its path to the sea.

A humble request from the legal team defending the man held in the 2010 FBI-managed bomb plot at Pioneer Courthouse Square: Limits on use of the word "terrorist" during trial.

Gary Glitter,
the old-fashioned British pop star who also happens to be a convicted sex offender, has become the first person actually arrested in the sex abuse scandal that's erupted around deceased (and creepy) BBC host Jimmy Savile.

YOU DUMMY
YOU HAVE TO HOLD ONTO YOUR PHONE MORE TIGHT THAN THAT BECAUSE THE BAD MAN WILL GET IT!


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