This Week in the Mercury


Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Good Morning, News!

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Wed, Oct 31, 2012 at 9:29 AM

GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! They say "Why are you dressed like it's Halloween? You look so absurd, you look so obscene." LET'S GO TO PRESS.

New York City and New Jersey struggle to get back on their feet today, as power outages are still being repaired, the airports are slowly coming back on line, fires rage in Jersey, Wall Street gets back to work, and traffic? IT'S A GODDAMN NIGHTMARE.

New Jersey Governor Chris Christie—who had some prickly words to say about the President during the GOP convention—is now in looooooove with Barack Obama.

Despite all the problems brought upon the northeast by Hurricane Sandy, election day is expected to proceed as planned—though things do look a tad dicey.

A Chinese think tank is urging the government to drop their one-child policy and allow parents to have two kids. DON'T DO IT!!! IT'S A SLIPPERY SLOPE!!! (Just ask Octomom.)

According to a new report, an executive at Apple was fired because he refused to apologize for their sucky and disastrous maps application.

In case you missed it yesterday, Disney has acquired all of George Lucas' Star Wars toys—which made the nerd world poop and squirt all at the same time.

Locally the (sigh) anti-fluoride people cleared another hurdle to put good dental health to a public vote. VOTE "NO" ON HEALTHY GUMS!!

Oregon authorities are advising motorists to not swerve when a deer runs out in front of you. Sooo... you'll have to find a new way of killing us, deer!

Here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: A rainy Halloween (BOOOOOOO!) but prepare for an honest-to-god DRY weekend!

Now that the worst of Sandy has passed, Obama and Romney hop back on the campaign trail for one final—and probably extremely annoying—push. HOWEVER! At least one four-year-old girl in a battleground state is sick and tired of "Bronco Bama" and "Mitt Romeney." WATCH.

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