This Week in the Mercury

Doin' It to You


Doin' It to You

Luke Sweeney Embraces the Studio

Sold Out


Sold Out

Open Season: Year 11

Thursday, November 1, 2012

Halloween Post-Mortem

Posted by Alison Hallett on Thu, Nov 1, 2012 at 3:29 PM


I live in the Buckman neighborhood, and each year we get fewer trick or treaters on Halloween. Five years ago, traffic was steady—this year, I think the doorbell rang maybe six times total.

Parents, what's the deal? Because I'm kind of mad at all of your kids. We carve pumpkins and buy all this candy and sit at home dutifully watching scary movies and waiting for the damn doorbell to ring—and then no one shows! If I wanted to be disappointed by children, I WOULD HAVE THEM. Are all the neighborhood kids lured away by the posh nearby Laurelhurst neighborhood, where I can only assume the "good candy" is handed out? (We give out good candy.) Are the homeless tent compounds in inner Southeast really THAT offputting? Is everyone scared of my neighbors' mustache van? The dynamics of this are a complete mystery to me. All I know is, we have a fuck-load of candy at my house that now I have to eat, and all you moms and dads cutely posting on Facebook about stealing a "parent tax" from your kids' candy stash (DENIS C. THERIAULT) are welcome to come on over and help yourselves.

(Former Mercury news editor Amy Ruiz was similarly bummed about the lack of trick-or-treaters in her neighborhood, so she helped rally the neighbors in what was apparently a very successful drive to reinvigorate trick-or-treating in Woodlawn. I'm not going to do that. Nice idea, though!)

More on Horrors

Comments (2)

Showing 1-2 of 2

Subscribe to this thread:
Showing 1-2 of 2

Comments are closed.

All contents © Index Newspapers, LLC

115 SW Ash St. Suite 600
Portland, OR 97204

Contact Info | Privacy Policy | Production Guidelines | Terms of Use | Takedown Policy