This Week in the Mercury
Friday, November 2, 2012
Girls Only! / Transportation Hey LAAADIES... Finally, a Car for YOU!
Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Fri, Nov 2, 2012 at 9:59 AM
Ladies, a note from us he-men: We're kind of tired of driving you around in our very manly 4X4 Dodge Rams (because we like to RAM things, ya know?), and have decided you need a car of your very own. THAT'S RIGHT, we've reversed our previous decision on "women drivers" and think you are ready to get behind the pink wheel of your very own pink car. So we called the Japanese, told them to design a car for women, and voila!
THE HONDA "SHE'S"
Isn't it... oh, what's that word you females use? "ADORABLE"? And we know you're gonna love it for the following reasons (from LifeInc.):
1) It's pink. Just like your vaginas.
2) Its windshield is "designed to block skin-wrinkling ultraviolet rays," and a "Plasmaculture" climate control system was installed to improve "skin quality." Because no one will like you when you're old.
3) It has a pink key!
4) And a lot of other pink things, like pink stitching on the driver's wheel to remind you that you're a woman and you'd better not burn my steak. I like the inside pink.
5) Don't like pink? Well, they're designing a color for you Penthouse lesbians, too: "Eyeliner Brown." Now go make yourself look pretty for me.
6) And finally instead of an apostrophe, they substituted a heart in the car's name, "She's." (NOT FAIR. I'm going to start inserting "sweaty testicles" instead of all my apostrophes, because I AM MAN! Now go put on your pantyhose and drive that new lady car over to the Plaid Pantry. I need some smokes.)
Most Commented on Blogtown, PDX
-
KATU Poll Brings Bad News for Fluoridation Campaign by Denis C. Theriault
-
Slate: What's the Matter with Portland? by Dirk VanderHart
-
Everything Is Terrible and I Want a New Job. by Alison Hallett
-
Mike Daisey "Drank Some NyQuil" Before Commenting on Blogtown by Alison Hallett
-
This Week in Sex by Rose Finn
-
PTERODACTYL MONSTER ALERT by Erik Henriksen
-
Film Critics: Nervously Boarding a Star Trek into Obsolescence by Bobby Roberts
-
Unsurprising: Kerns Neighbors Might Fight a New Apartment Building by Dirk VanderHart
-
Obama Has "No Apologies" for Spying on Reporters by Dominic Holden
-
Arts Tax Deadline Delayed. Again. Because of Procrastinators. And the City's Balky Website. by Denis C. Theriault
Our Friends
- UrbanHonking
- Culture Shock
- Portland Roundball Society
- Steph Cassano
- Cort and Fatboy
- Street Roots
- Powell's Books Blog
- Portland Transport
- Portland Afoot
- Bike Portland
- Eater: PDX
- Portland Food and Drink
- Mr. Movie
- Sunday Softball
- BlueOregon
- Sightline Institute
- Ultra: Arts Portland
- Bitch Magazine
- Blazer's Edge
- Reading Local: Portland
- Portland Food Carts
- Stumptown Vegans
Our Enemies
RSSGoing to Seattle?
