This Week in the Mercury

Arty & Bullshit

Film

Arty & Bullshit

Tim Burton Goes '50s. Christoph Waltz Goes Insane.


An <i>Unbroken</i> Story...

Film

An Unbroken Story...

And Angelina Jolie's Sticking to It



Friday, November 16, 2012

Hot Live Blog Action Tonight! Blazers vs. Rockets

Posted by Bobby Roberts on Fri, Nov 16, 2012 at 1:14 PM

Harden.jpg

He kinda looks like Marvin Gaye there.

Harden_2.jpg

He kinda looks like Patricia Arquette here.

Harden_3.jpeg

And here, he kinda looks like he should be airbrushed onto the lower half of a commemorative plate with maybe a photo of him driving to the hoop, or maybe a pack of wolves baying at a full moon, or something equally opulent.

James Harden of the Houston Rockets was cut loose from the Oklahoma City Thunder, and then promptly showed everybody watching that he has maybe the most internal restraint of any man on earth next to Sting, who has, through the power of tantra, learned to harness his orgasmic powers and control them, much like a didgeridoo player can harness the wind in his lungs and cycle it through his body in ways others could never do.

What I'm saying is that Marvin Arquette up there is fucking ice cold from pretty much anywhere on the court, he apparently could do this all the time, and was just holding it back when in Oklahoma City because he knew that Russell Westbrook and Kevin Durant were the stars, so he assumed his role and chipped in when he could.

He doesn't have to do that now. Now he is the star, and as weird as it is to say, James Harden coming to Portland is a legitimate reason to cancel whatever Friday night plans you had, and plant yourself in front of a television to watch the Blazers try to lock this man down.

Watch with us, why don't you? Hot Live Blog Action begins tonight, right here at Blogtown, at 7pm.

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