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Friday, November 23, 2012

Wanted: Your Cure for a Post-Thanksgiving Clogged Duodenum

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Fri, Nov 23, 2012 at 10:44 AM

If you're anything like me, you awoke this morning with an entire three-pound turkey leg resting uncomfortably and snoring loudly inside your upper intestine, refusing to awake. It took a while, but I finally rousted him from his slumber and made him move along—though it took a grand total of four separate trips to the can. Here's my recipe:

One ginormous cup of black coffee.
One large bowl of Kashi's GoLean cereal (with 10 grams of fiber).
Followed by an exerting series of sidebends, backbends, and sit ups.

The result? It was like the Ghostbusters stepped into my colon armed with power washers.

However! I'm always looking for faster, more efficient methods of bowel expurgation—and I trust you to supply those in the comments below. BOMBS AWAY!

Ugggh... that turkey leg makes me want to touch my fist to my stomach and make the balloon face.
  • "Ugggh... that turkey leg makes me want to touch my fist to my stomach and make the 'balloon' face."

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