When people think of Ghost, they think of Patrick Swayze. They think of Demi Moore. And, perhaps most importantly, they think of Whoopi Goldberg, who won a well-deserved Oscar for playing Ghost Swayze's BFF! Just as with Guinan on Star Trek: The Next Generation, Celie in The Color Purple, and Katie Coltrane in Theodore Rex, Whoopi's presence in Ghost is nothing short of magical.

Tonight, we'll experience all that Whoopi, Patrick, Demi, and a wet phallic chunk of clay have to offer... and it'll all be accompanied by your hilarious texts, popping up onscreen. Before the film, Wm. Steven Humphrey will offer a stirring introduction to Ghost and what it means to him; after the film, we shall walk into the dark night, singing "Unchained Melody" and glad for the time that is given to us in this world... and the next. It will be Hecklevision: Ghost, and it will be a night unlike any other.

There's also a chance it's gonna sell right the hell out (past Hecklevisions, particularly ones with Swayze, certainly have), so get advance tickets here, or—quick!—send me an email before noon today and make sure your subject line is "Ditto." Tell me why you deserve a pair of free tickets to Hecklevision: Ghost more than any of the other jerks who'll be entering the contest, and maybe I'll give them to you. (If you win, I'll email you back by 12:10 to let you know.) See you tonight.