Last night I came home from the Mercury's annual drunken holiday karaoke party to find (1) humiliation and shame and (2) the first trailer for the new Star Trek movie! Let's not analyze the preceding sentence too closely, and instead just move on to the trailer, shall we? Much like its title, and its poster, the trailer takes a whole lot from the Christopher Nolan school of doing things, which is saying incredibly little but punctuating it with incredibly loud sound effects.

As soon as the trailer launched, my dweeb-filled Twitter feed was crammed full of nerds saying that this preview finally PROVES that the beloved Benedict Cumberbatch is FOR SURE playing Khan, which I don't see—but maybe that's because I so desperately want Cumberbatch's character not to be Khan that I'm going to cling to hope until the very last minute that he won't be. For all the trouble J.J. Abrams & Co. went to in their first (and great) Star Trek to build a whole new universe to play around in, going right back to Trek's default villain for the sequel would seem profoundly unambitious and unimaginative. So here's hoping he's not Khan, maybe! Maybe he's a human suit worn by a bunch of tribbles! That could be neat! I guess what I'm saying is wow, that sure was a lot of drunken karaoke, and I do not feel super great about myself this morning.