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Friday, December 7, 2012

Good Morning, News!

Posted by Denis C. Theriault on Fri, Dec 7, 2012 at 9:29 AM

The unemployment rate has dropped to 7.7 percent—its lowest point since George W. Bush was practicing his putt-putt in the Oval Office. Great news, losers? Not quite! Actual job growth isn't strong enough on its own to reduce the rate. Most of the change is driven by dispirited people dropping out of the labor force altogether.

Egyptian protesters have moved past the "talk it out" stage with their embattled new president, Mohammed Morsi. They're thinking it's more like time to "storm the gates of his palace and force him out."

On that note, you might want to consider cancelling your holiday getaway to romantic, sunny, and civil-war-torn Damascus. Syria's rebels have declared open season on the airport.

One reason why
department-store clothes are so cheap? They're made in sweatshop factories across the world that, in a pinch, can double as fiery death traps.

The nurse who gave up sensitive info on the Duchess Catherine's difficult pregnancy to a prank-calling Australian disc jockey, sneakily pretending to be HRH The Queen, was found dead in her home, reportedly from suicide.

A big earthquake off the coast of Japan, near where last year's mega-quake struck, caused minor damage but had nothing to do with the anniversary of Pearl Harbor—a day that still lives infamy for the approximately 30 to 40 people still alive who remember when it happened.

George Zimmerman, the man who shot dead Trayvon Martin because of his hoodie and candy, is accusing NBC of "yellow journalism" because of an edited 911 tape aired by the network.

The fiscal cliff! Remember that? Today's obligatory non-story story is about how two people who were always going to have to talk it out—Barack Obama and John Boehner—are, in fact, going to talk it out. Together! Alone!

Having helped ruin the US Senate as much as possible, South Carolina's Jim DeMint is now hoping to ruin the Heritage Foundation as much as possible.

Pay attention, Washington and Colorado. The feds have decidedly NOT ruled out rounding up the cavalry and riding in to smash up your bongs.


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