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Monday, December 10, 2012

Good Morning, News!

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Mon, Dec 10, 2012 at 9:27 AM

GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! Jay's favorite line: "Dog, in due time." Now he look at me, like "Damn, dog, you where I am." LET'S GO TO PRESS.

Morocco. Arab Spring. King promises to share power. New constitution. And now? A bunch of jack squat.

To supposedly protect the country's upcoming constitutional referendum, the Egyptian army now has the power to arrest citizens. This will go well!

The two radio shock jocks who pranked a nurse into revealing medical info on the pregnant Duchess of Cambridge are admitting deep remorse—especially after this same nurse committed suicide.

A new poll says that a majority of Americans support same-sex marriage, tax hikes for the wealthy, and "a path to citizenship" for children of illegal immigrants. However, it's not all good news.

Obama and House Speaker John Boehner met yesterday to discuss the fiscal cliff, and agree! Agree not to say anything to the press. BOOOOOOO!!!

A Navy SEAL dies trying to rescue an American doctor taken prisoner in Afghanistan.

Mexican-American singing star Jenni Rivera along with six others are dead in a small plane accident in northern Mexico.

Best headline (so far) of the day: "Why Florida's Giant Python Hunting Contest Is a Bad Idea."

A monkey is spotted roaming an Ikea in Toronto—WEARING A FABULOUS COAT. Cue social media sensation!

Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: On and off sunbreaks throughout the week, with highs in the mid-40s.

And finally, A CAT WITH A BALLOON STUCK TO HER LEG!! HAW! HAW!! HAW!!!! ("Mondays," amirite?)

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