This Week in the Mercury

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Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Good Morning, News!

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Wed, Jan 9, 2013 at 9:29 AM

GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! So go ahead and get gone. Call up that chick, and see if she's home. Oops, I bet you thought that I didn't know. What did you think I was putting you out for? LET'S GO TO PRESS.

All that online bank hacking that's being going on in recent weeks? According to officials, it's most likely Iran, in retaliation for economic sanctions. OH SHIT, HERE WE GO.

More than 2,000 Syrian prisoners have been released in exchange for 48 Iranians freed by the rebels. Hmm. Wonder who got the better end of that deal?

A Manhattan ferry crash injures dozens after slamming into the dock.

New York Governor Mario Andrew Cuomo is pushing to have some of the most restrictive anti-assault weapons legislation in the country. Good luck with that, and prepare for an onslaught of hillbilly death threats.

After being publicly shamed (which is apparently the only way these people will listen to anything), Walmart has agreed to join in on gun talks with Vice President Biden.

According to detectives, shooter James Holmes spent two months planning his attack on that Colorado movie theater.

President Obama will be nominating White House Chief of Staff Jack Lew for the role of Treasury secretary, probably later on this week. (Hey Jack! Dibs on that one trillion dollar coin!!)

Ummm... if you haven't already, get your flu shot, guys!

Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: Showers today, possible flurries tomorrow, and then another long stretch of cool, sunny weather.

And finally, comedian Greg Benson gives us a [BLEEP!]ing awesome tour of a [BLEEP!]ing cruise ship.

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