Here's a submission from the nicest I, Anonymous writer EVER.
Where I come from, we slap our dogs when they bark to cease them from barking when they shouldn't, but Portland, they're 'like people and are just trying to talk'. Spare me the horseshit. Oh, but I have found a solution. Do you know why you keep finding chicken bones in the park? On the street? Sidewalk? That's me. Three days a week I plant them and your stupid fucking dog chokes on them.
Well, that's one way to deal with a problem. Another is to not be SO FUCKING INSANE. If you think you can be crazier than this grade-A nutbag, give it a shot over at the I, Anonymous Blog, which is like a planted chicken bone... for the soul.