Last night signaled the return of The Walking Dead—after a somewhat brief holiday vacay—and it... was... NOT EXACTLY AWESOME. But not terrible either. WHAT DID YOU THINK? Hit the jump for my spoilerific thoughts, and let's chitty-chat about that in the comments! Chitty-chitty-chat-chat!

Hey, look! Its former Steelers receiver Hines Ward dressed up as a zombie. Apparently he figured out who you have to blow to get on this show.
  • Courtesy AMC
  • Hey, look! It's former Steelers receiver Hines Ward dressed up as a zombie. Apparently he figured out who you have to blow to get on this show.

Here's what I'm thinking about last night's episode, "The Suicide King":

1) Now is it just me, or did everyone that needed to escape, escape a little too easily? Especially after the so-called all out war that was waging before the Xmas break. Thanks to the buttinskis known as Rick's Rangers and their assault on the Woodbury liberal arts college, Merle and Darryl escaped before they could even put Merle's plan into action—which I assume was beating Darryl to death and feeding him to the zombies. Good plan, Merle! (For YOU.)

2) Anyway, Darryl decides to run off with Merle—out of some twisted sense of morality, and because HE AM DUMB. This makes Glenn cry like a goddamn baby, and throw the best temper tantrum ever recorded on The Walking Dead, wherein he curb stomps a zombie to death. God, Glenn! The zombie was just trying to ask for directions!

3) Back at the prison, ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ...

4) Back at Woodbury, Governor One-Eyed Morrissey gets second place in the cry-baby of the week competition, and refuses to talk to the rest of the liberal arts college students, who are stupidly trying to leave, because... well, if they're stupid enough to be liberal arts students they're stupid enough to be eaten by zombies. LET THEM LEAVE! Unfortunately, Blondie McGunnerson gives an absolutely UN-inspiring pep talk that somehow convinces the students to stay. This should be plenty of proof that a liberal arts education is a BAD IDEA.

5) Back at the prison, Doctor Farmy McDrunky nurses Michonne, and tries to get Rick to accept Tyrese and the new guys into the group. Here's a reason why Rick should give it the okay: YOU'VE KILLED OFF ALL THE OTHER BLACK PEOPLE, and... AHH! What's that?? Up on the balcony! AHHH! The ghost of Lori, and AHHH! She's dressed like a chorus member from a community theater production of Oedipus Rex and AHHH!! A g-g-g-g-ghost!!! (And Tyrese is all like, "Okaaaaay, weirdo honky... we'll just be leaving now.")

6) So not much happened! I felt this episode was pretty lackluster, other than Glenn's skull stomp. WHAT DID YOU THINK? Apply your comments below, and if you also want to talk about last night's episode of Girls—go ahead! I thought that was pretty fucking great!

Brother vs. Brother fight to the death!! And afterwards, an ice cream mixer in the quad!
  • Courtesy AMC
  • "Brother vs. Brother fight to the death!! And afterwards, an ice cream mixer in the quad!"