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Monday, March 4, 2013

The Walking Dead (and Girls) Chitty-Chat Club!

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Mon, Mar 4, 2013 at 10:44 AM

Welcome once again to the only TV recap in America that recaps both The Walking Dead AND Girls—at the same time. (What do you mean I "shouldn't be so proud about that"?) Hit the jump for my spoilerific thoughts about last night's episodes—AND your "oh-so-observant" observations! LET'S START CHITTY-CHATTING!

Oh, so youre gonna kill ANOTHER black guy? Wow, sure, thats just awesome.
  • Courtesy AMC
  • "Oh, so you're gonna kill ANOTHER black guy? Wow, sure, that's just awesome."

Okay, so here's what I'm thinking:

1) OMG, Hannah's got OCD! She can't walk into her apartment without looking over her shoulder eight times, opens and shuts the door eight times, and lays out and scarfs down eight potato chips! And I'm like... "OHHHKAY, what's the catch? I've never heard of Hannah having OCD before... Is she trying to channel the main character in her e-book? I call BULL POOPY!"

2) Meanwhile in Zombieville, a random hitchhiker must have OCD too, because he chases Rick, Carl and MIchonne down the road screaming for help at least three times. (The third time he wasn't so lucky.) Anyhoo, Rick and his paired-down rangers are on a gun hunt—very much like the panicked hillbillies I see every weekend at my local gun shop. We learn that Carl does not like Michonne very much—because he's an idiot, I guess? SHE'S GOT A BITCHIN' SAMURAI SWORD, IDIOT!

3) Meanwhile in Brooklyn, Jessa is still missing (YAY! Stay that way!), Shoshanna gets invited to a bitchin' college party (naturally Ray does not want to attend because he is over 30 and therefore worthless), and Marnie discovers that her wimpy ex-boyfriend Charlie is suddenly successful and RICH, RICH, RICH!! Oh, and Adam goes to an AA meeting and meets Billy Crystal's wife from The Princess Bride, who strongly suggests he date her daughter. OKAY, THE JENGA PIECES ARE IN PLACE.

4) Meanwhile back in Z-land, Rick and the gang are looking for guns in his old home town—which now looks like it's been overrun by the Viet Cong circa 1966 due to all the crazy booby traps. (Was that racist? I meant it in a nice way!) When suddenly, BLAM, BLAM, BLAM! Someone's shooting at the gang from the roof, but luckily for everyone, it's Carl that takes him down. After removing the shooter's mask—GASP! It's Rick's old savior Morgan! The guy that rescued him in episode one? The guy he's supposed to be communicating with via walkie-talkie? You don't remember him at all, do you? OH, NEVERMIND.

5) Meanwhile back in B-town, Marnie can't help but visit the still wildly insecure/but at least rich Charlie, and he asks if she's there for money. HAAAAAA!!! I LOVE THAT SO MUCH. Ray advises her to do what she really wants in life, but unfortunately that's "singing." Somewhat surprisingly she can sing okay, so Ray tells her to follow her dream before she gets ugly. Thanks, Ray! Meanwhile, Sosh gets bored at the college party and bangs the hot, but kind of creepy doorman. (Something tells me he's done this before.) Meanwhile, Adam meets the daughter of Billy Crystal's wife in The Princess Bride and she is HAWT. And PERFECT. And this is going to cause some Hannah problems.

6) Meanwhile back in Viet Congville, Rick allows Carl to wander off and get some baby stuff—BECAUSE HE IS SO TRUSTWORTHY—but at least Michonne goes with him. Surprise, Carl wants to stop off at a zombie-infested restaurant to retrieve a old picture of his family in happier times. Naturally the plan goes awry, but Michonne sneaks back in and gets the photo for him, and AWWWWW! Carl likes Michonne now! However, Morgan (remember him? no?) is Ka-Ka-KARAZY and does NOT like Rick and gives him a little stab. Rick tries to talk him out of his KAR-aziness, but no dice. However, after seeing Morgan, Rick decides he doesn't want to be so ka-razy anymore. So that was easy.

7) Meanwhile back in Judy Collinsburg, Hannah (who suddenly has OCD now, remember?) meets her parents who almost immediately realize that she's back to her old OCD hijinx, and so they take her to a Judy Collins concert, which naturally, is torturous. When Hannah has an OCD freakout and goes to the bathroom, Judy Collins says (from the stage, mind you), "Where ya going, honey? Sheeesh!" Umm... I'M GOING TO THE CAN, YOU WASHED-UP OLD HIPPIE NAG. IS EMBARRASSING PEOPLE WHO ARE GOING TO THE BATHROOM SOMETHING YOU STONE-AGE HAS-BEEN FOLK SINGERS DID BACK IN THE '60S?? FUUUUUCK YOU, JUDY COLLINS!!

8) Meanwhile back in no-longer-Crazy Town, Rick, Michonne, and Carl have their guns, their pictures, and their sanity—so it's back to the prison to kill and hopefully poke out the other eye of the Guv'nah! GOOD LUCK, GANG! (Oh, and don't forget to pick up that frightened [and now murdered] hitchhiker's backpack on your way out. Nice.)

9) Okay, so that's what I'm thinking! Did Hannah's insta-OCD rub you the wrong way? How about Rick's insta-sanity? Let me know your thoughts in the comments, Chitty-Chatters!

Listening to Judy Collins is enough to give anyone OCD.
  • Courtesy HBO
  • "Listening to Judy Collins is enough to give anyone OCD."

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