Originally published July 3, 2008:

Okay! I'm a bisexual woman who dated this amazing, beautiful, bisexual guy who was a bartender at the Gay 90's in Minneapolis. (Shout out!) Obviously it didn't bother me that he liked men, but the thing I just could not tolerate was that after he would come on my stomach he would lick it alllllllllllllll up!!! OMFG I almost threw up every time!
I never said anything, because I'm not one to knock someone's kinks. But I'm dying to know if this is a gay thing or did he have some type of protein deficiency?

Jizzed Upon In Minneapolis

My response after the jump...

A gay thing? Not according to my mail—or your example, JUIM, seeing as this guy was bi.

Getting back to my mail: All the panicky e-mail I get from people whose boyfriends, husbands, or FWBs suddenly lapped up their own come is from women. Either gay men don't do this or they don't regard the act as so troubling that they feel a need to ask me about it. But in my own personal sex life, JUIM, I've never seen a gay man lap up his own come—well, not unless he was ordered to.

So where did this kink come from? Who knows? Who cares? We can look back through this bartender's life and speculate—maybe his dad forced him to lick his plate clean, maybe he started eating his come as a teenager to destroy evidence of masturbation from disapproving parents, maybe he's deeply concerned (and deeply confused) about his carbon emissions—but, generally speaking, attempting to identify the root cause of an adult person's fetishes, turn-ons, kinks, etc., is a waste of time.

It's a much better use of our time, JUIM, to accept and enjoy our fetishes and our partners' fetishes with good grace and a sense of humor. What turns us on turns us on, and angsting about it endlessly doesn't change anything.