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Thursday, April 18, 2013

There Ain't Nothin' Wrong with a Little More Weird Science

Posted by Bobby Roberts on Thu, Apr 18, 2013 at 11:55 AM

Bet you forgot Iron Man was in this movie, huh.
  • Bet you forgot Iron Man was in this movie, huh.

There's been a bit of handwringing online over the news John Hughes' lowbrow teen-comedy Weird Science is the latest '80s classic to be fed feet-first into the hungry maw of Hollywood's Remake Beast. Universal Pictures and producer Joel Silver plan on this remake having an R-rating, and the writer attached is Michael Bacall, whose name appears on the credits for both 21 Jump Street (Yay!) and Project X (ugh what the fuck bleh).

But if Bacall can knock out a script as solid as Jump Street's, I don't see why this has to be a problem. If I'd published a top 10 movies list for 2012, Jump Street likely would have made it - that was the most I'd laughed in a theater all last year. But a lot of that laughter was due almost solely to one man.

CHATUM!
  • CHATUM!

Which leads me to this tweet, by screenwriter Brian Lynch in which Lynch nails the pitch for a Weird Science remake:

Screen_shot_2013-04-18_at_11.29.39_AM.png

Are you kidding me? That's fucking perfect. I loathe internet petitions the same way I loathe those who insist on pronouncing it jif not gif, but if someone mailed me a petition to get this thing done, I'd sign it in the time it takes for my heart to skip one of its beats gazing at Chatum.

Besides, it's not like Weird Science is some sort of gauzy, innocent look back at what it was like to be a teenager in the '80s. Yeah, it was PG-13, but that's when the rating was still new, not the meaningless collection of letters it is now. Weird Science wanted to be R. It's an R-rated premise, honestly: Horny dipshits create a sex slave with their computer. Of course, the twist is that they learn how to be better people thanks to their wise, redheaded fuck-golem, and by the end of the film have evolved (ish) out of being desperate nerds with bras on their heads.

But it was still essentially Revenge of the Nerds with the crusts just barely cut off. There's a giant talking shitlump in the movie, for example. Bringing this thing into 2013 and making it R-rated doesn't seem at all out of bounds, to me.

Especially if the two leads are a couple nerdy girls who used their iPad to summon forth the Chatum to make their dreams come true. MAKE IT HAPPEN, SILVER.

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