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Friday, April 26, 2013

Roller Derby Recap: Heartless Heathers vs. Break Neck Betties, Portland vs. Salt Lake City

Posted by Joe Streckert on Fri, Apr 26, 2013 at 1:29 PM


The fantastic Heartless Heathers vs. Break Neck Betties bout.

This past Friday night featured some downright amazing roller derby from the Heartless Heathers and the Break Neck Betties, and on Saturday the Rose City Rollers' Axles of Annihilation hosted the Wasatch Bonecrushers from Salt Lake City. While Sunday saw Portland's Wheels of Justice taking on Wasatch's Midnight Terror.

Details after the jump.

On Friday evening the reigning champions, the Break Neck Betties, took on the Heartless Heathers in a bout that had pretty much everything. The Heathers got an early jumpstart, coming out of the gate with a 23-5 lead in the first jam. For a good while the Heathers had the lead, and it looked like the undead underdogs were going to just float above the champions for most of the bout. The Betties, though, methodically chipped away at the Heathers’ lead, and eventually Licker ‘N Split was able to put her team on top, 58-64. Everything after that was a struggle. The Heathers managed to tie it up 77-77 at one point, but the Betties fought back, and ended the first half with a lead of 83-95. At the start of the second half the Heathers responded with a series of jams (most notably led by the Blast Unicorn) that left them up 117-105.

Are you ready for more lead changes? BECAUSE THERE WERE MORE LEAD CHANGES.

Immediately after that was a set of tight, evenly matched jams—the two teams traded points back and forth, and the Betties were soon able to get a one-point lead of 135-136. Blast Unicorn responded by putting the Heathers on top 140-138, and the Betties immediately flew in after that with a more substantial lead of 140-157. Blast Unicorn, taking advantage of penalties, spearheaded a huge, lead-changing power jam, and at the end of that the Heathers led 178-166, and this is the point where I wrote “holy shit this is close” in my notes. The Heathers clung onto that lead for the rest of the game, defeating the champs 212-185. The crowd, by that point, was on their feet. And rightly so—it was everything you could want from a sporting event. FINAL: Heartless Heathers 212, Break Neck Betties 185.

Saturday’s bout, though, was not nearly as dramatic. The Axles of Annihilation (Rose City’s travel B team) took on the visiting Wasatch Bonecrushers from Salt Lake City and, well, crushed them. The opening jam from Slay Miserables put the Axles up 23-0, and that pretty much set the tone for the evening. The Axles were just plain faster than the Utah visitors, and by the end of the first half they led with a comfortable 129-49. I’ll admit, I started rooting for the visitors at that point, all in the name of making things more exciting. Wasatch seemed to come together more in the second half, but it was too late. At the end of it all, the Axles won. FINAL: Axles of Annihilation 263, Wasatch Bonecrushers 101.

Stray observation: Whoever made the “I [heart] official timeouts” poster, carry on. The world needs heroes like you.

Hi guys, it's me, Courtney. Joe handed the roller-derby baton to me for Sunday's early-morning battle between the Wheels of Justice (Rose City Rollers' all-star mega team) and Salt Lake City's Wasatch Roller Derby's all-stars Midnight Terror. Did I mention it was early?! It was. So anyway... Made up of many of the skaters from Saturday's game, it didn't seem likely that Salt Lake was going to snatch a victory from the Wheels of Justice if they couldn't beat Rose City's B-team. And true that: The final score was Wheels of Justice 282, Wasatch's Midnight Terror 122. Wasatch was within striking distance at halftime, down by only 78 points after a score-filled power jam by Wasatch's Moonraker. But late in the second half saw a humongoid power jam by Portland's Scald Eagle (40 points, whoa Nellie!), that cemented Midnight Terror's fate. Not exactly a knuckle-biter, there was some beautiful play by Wasatch, with awesome jammers Moonraker, Skull Candi, and former Rose City sweetheart Squid Vicious, not to mention monster blocking from Colonel Skirts. But them Wheels of Justice gals are hard to beat.

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