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Monday, April 29, 2013

Good Morning, News!

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Mon, Apr 29, 2013 at 9:28 AM

GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! I remember the letter wrinkled in my hand. "I'll love you always" filled my eyes. LET'S GO TO PRESS.

Blamed for "radicalizing" Tamarian Tsarnaev, "Misha" is interviewed by the FBI in connection to the Boston bombing, and no it's not Mischa Barton from The O.C. (Though she is radicalized... to the max!)

Say hello to the first openly gay player in major team sports, NBA center Jason Collins. Unsurprisingly, he's awesome! [UPDATE: I admit it, I fell into the "first openly gay player in major team sports" trap. Women have been doing it all along. Sorry!!]

In hilarious sports news, the New York Jets cut quarterback Tim Tebow after one season. I probably shouldn't get so much joy from this, but... WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW??

The new primary suspect in the ricin letter investigation (the martial artist and possible molester, not the Elvis impersonator) is being held without bond.

The Syrian premiere barely escapes an assassination attempt, when a bomb exploded near his convoy in Damascus.

The Supreme Court says "Screw you, Alabama hillbillies!" who were trying to make it a crime to harbor anyone who has entered the country illegally.

UGHH! A terrible story about an eight-year-old California girl who was stabbed to death in her house, presumably by an unknown attacker.

In other stabbing news, a New Mexico man hops over several pews during church to stab four choir members.

The wrongful death trial for Michael Jackson begins today, with the question "Did AEG Live (the entertainment firm that hired Dr. Conrad Murray) supervise the physician?"

Obama got off quite a few zingers at the yuk-filled White House Correspondents' Dinner—including this one: "These days I look in the mirror and I gotta admit: I'm not the strapping young Muslim socialist that I used to be." Ka-zing-a-ling-a-ling!

Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: Little cloudy, little cool today and less so tomorrow—but check out the rest of the week! YESSSSSS!! (Hint: Launder your thongs!)

And finally, speaking of weather—some weather broadcasts just go more smoothly than others... but meteorologist Lisa Hidalgo can really dance and crawl with the punches!

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