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Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Keep Your Fluoridation Chemicals Out Of My Water Chemicals

Posted by Alex Falcone on Wed, May 1, 2013 at 1:29 PM

I'm going to set aside an actual discussion of the pros/cons to adding fluoride to our drinking water because that's what the good people at Clean Water Portland have done. Let's instead look at how they're trying to market their cause.

water-in-my-water.jpg

Cute kid. But that's... not how water works. This is going to come as a huge shock to you, but there's tons of stuff in water that isn't water. Including, but not limited to barium, copper, lead, arsenic (!), and fluoride. Yep. There's fluoride in your water.

The government must be using the fluoride-radio receivers they've planted in your bodies to make you create really amusing straw men on billboards.

chemicals.jpg

What a coincidence. That guy just happened to use your pen to write your slogan!

Look, I'm as worried as the next guy about my kid's teeth turning into Nazis, but the word chemicals makes you sound so silly. Water is a chemical. You don't want fluoridation chemicals in your water chemicals.

thanks.jpg

I disagree with you. "You're welcome."

MORE AFTER THE JUMP!

giant-baby.jpg

You have amazing handwriting, baby! And you're gigantic!!

refugee-camp.jpg

So I guess that's another reason why you should be glad you're not in a refugee camp anymore? Maybe the reason you weren't worried about fluoride was because you were too busy worrying about the hep c in refugee water. Or maybe this is just a sad thing about your past that is entirely unrelated to fluoride.


There is one really good thing the crazies are doing on their Facebook page that makes me want to join their side. Fluoride. Cat.

fluoride-cat.jpg

"Get me away from this house. They're crazy!"

Grab your tinfoil hat, Fluoride Cat. It's not over yet.

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